Nancy Rost: Music

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Was it Colonel Mustard in the kitchen?
Was it Sergeant Pepper at the mill?
Did the coroner embellish, did he tell the tale with relish
Just to give the audience a thrill?

The characters have gotten into a pickle
The plot has gotten thick as mayonnaise
And I want to shut the door, go back to the time before
But I can't avert my gaze

Someone asked the insects to the picnic
Someone left the cake out in the rain
And the rainin' turned to snowin' and it went all Leonard Cohen
And here comes the climax like a downhill train

How the butler keeps his face a cipher
How he polishes the cutlery
While I practice Bach inventions he's fomenting ill intentions
But I can't afford a butler - it was me